October 2010
My Love Affair with Fucked Up Fairy Tales
Why do I always fall in love with super dysfunctional family/love stories? It’s as formulaic as someone who falls for the classic fairytale. See? We’re all the same at heart. I think it makes me a little happy inside.
“Only until this cigarette is ended,
A little moment at the end of all,
While...”
– Millay
I kinda want the chance to do somethings over again. Like I want to fuck up more or less. I want to do something.
Sometimes I need a reminder
Things I love.
1. school supplies
2. fall weather.
3. scarves.
4. blank notebooks
5. kittens
6. double breasted button jackets
7. musical ringtones
8. children who I love.
9. parkways
10. cattail run rd.
11. clove cigarettes
12.retail therapy
13. mario cart with my cousins
14. walking into a room where everyone likes me
15. boys with early 2000s skater hair.
16. that day in October...
Irrevocably in Love
I am really mad at someone who once said to me, “I think you’re going to end up like your Aunt, happy and married with a bunch of kids on Long Island.” Mainly because saying it has taken away my ability to entertain the possibility. Over the past three months I have said the words “No, I’m not planning on getting married soon, no actually I’m not seeing anyone,...
ghostinmarble asked: Your comment will seem especially stupid when you remember the members of Oasis are not American.
"if you don't love oasis you are not american"-me
Sometimes I say dumb things. This is one of them. To be fair….(just trying to justify this) I was trying to say Oasis is so good and perfect and wonderful how could anyone not love them…and I guess i felt like it correlated to arguments like “how could you not like apple pie” or “how do you not eat pizza” etc or autre things that its generally considered creepy...
We were liars, lovers in combat
Oh Nostalgia, sometimes I love you, sometimes I hate you, and sometimes like tonight, I just want to “Oh Honey you,” and tell you to save your dignity and please go away.
ghostinmarble asked: Am I the "person who can cook"? Because I better be. I cannot wait for New York.
A lesson, lessening
I constantly surprise myself with how I end up feeling about things or people I used to really care about. I feel myself getting heartless with age, and I remember a time when I wouldn’t have been able to stand for that.
I should learn to Budget right NOW
When I grow up and live on my own, with someone who can cook, these are the things i will do to be a big girl and handle my life.
1. budget my money, make sure i set aside enough to pay: utilities, rent, cell phone, cable etc
2. give allowances: food allowance, toiletry, household items, liquor, cat
3. i will learn to prioritize things i want to spend money on: hair cut, versus night out, new...
i think my kittens are a big pile of GAY
They are in this little dysfunctional incestuous threesome. Two sibling kittens, male and female, one older man, both the little ones love him SO much. But I think he is gay because he has had multiple boyfriends (usually his age) before. If he is into twinks then maybe he can love little Jasper (the kitten boy), but he does seem to like them both, its hard to tell which he likes better, he sleeps...
I love Alexandra Leigh Williams
I have been so accidentally racist tonight it is not even funny.
When it rains
things that are shitty
1. my closet rack broke. again.
2. my cats chewed through an $80 wire. AGAIN.
3. i hate french and put off the project. again.
4. i am surrounded by bad decisions, mine and others, AFUCKINGGAIN
5. I am having an ugly week.
6. i may be failling biology.
7. i probably won’t get into graduate school
8. I am again so stressed out that I am forgetting things
9. my...
"I have a queer feeling when it comes to you"
For some reason I feel like Jane Eyre is pertinent right now. One of my favorite books of 7th grade has now faded to the recesses of my mind where things go that no longer define me. I’ve had a lot of big “R” Romantic cycles. I’ve done the Mr. Rochester (summer of 7t grade), the Michael Guerin (2001 and 2005 edition), the Breakfast at Tiffanys (2003 and 2009 edition). Its...
top ten romantic songs in my head right now
1. coffee-copeland
2.one man drinking games-mayday parade
3.question- old 97s
4.
okay epic fail i’m done
Ever have intense deja vu regarding the statement, “Is this really my life?” B. and I were on the wall pretty much all day today and almost every five minutes between seeing all our friends, having some “interactions” and reading from a book on erotic dreams, this sentence just kept coming into my head. Its like that lucid dream trick where you are supposed to take an...
never eat so much peanut butter in one day. word...
Peachy kid, just peachy.
i dont think that it is humanly possible for me to have a less productive night. lets see, i went to the PHAT movie, continued my classic stream of embarrassing myself in front of Dr. Parkinson, while continuing to semi-secretly ( to him i hope) adore him. i have returned home, enjoyed the light flicker of computer lights and the background noise of Law and Order and The Office for the past two...
ghostinmarble asked: A) I am judging you.
B) Sometimes, when I am sucking at all things relating to life, it helps me to look at people like Selma and remember that no matter what I do, I will never be that awesome.
B) Sometimes, when I am sucking at all things relating to life, it helps me to look at people like Selma and remember that no matter what I do, I will never be that awesome.
I have no problem with this
What stress feels like
Crazier- Taylor Swift, judge me.
New Haircut: I blame my emotional problems on lack...
Every day you see me is the worst day of my life
I think you learn that you are in a crisis when everything sends you over the edge. I feel like every day turns out the be that day when one little thing pushes you over the edge. I mean it used to be that I would have that day, it would occur, I’d hate it, go to bed early, maybe cry, and get over it. But lately that has been every single day and pretty much everything makes me turn into...
ghostinmarble asked: WHY DID YOU STAY IN AMERICA WHEN I WENT TO FRANCE?
Them bones
I need a bone bracelet to jangle when my nerves are shot. I need the jazzed up on coffee jolt of the subway ride, feel the bones rattle.
It goes with the word “percolated”
It goes with T. S Eliot line—-” But as if a magic lantern threw NERVES in patterns on a screen…”
It goes with the part of Breakfast at Tiffany’s where she is telling Paul/Fred that...
omg blog blog blog
SOP
statement of purpose
sad or painful
silly only please
suicide on plan
sick orphan pickles
sadly orpheus pined
sexy otters play
single olga pranced
I need to focus my life
No particular order or reason
1. speak french
2. graduate
3. speak russian
4. get a great grad sweatshirt
5. love my graduate advisor
6. grad school bag
7. coach wristlet
8. dance again
9. rent the ben barnes dorian gray
10. hugh jackman’s gym
Oh yay its that time of night where I am wide awake and know that I have to be up in 6 hrs. oh this blogging is bad for my health but great for the insomnia demon that is joining me tonight.
Today I realized I am an inherently selfish person while I was singing Kate Nash at the cash register at work. that was literally one of the cruelest things I could do to another human being and here I was...
"the color of fingertips... →
poem from a friend in class that I always remember
2nd one down
I still like emo boys, their classic bass riffs,...
it’s nights like these I wish I said don’t go.
And sometimes things are kind of nice and weird at... →
article on rapper T.I talking down a suicidal man in Georgia
Coats and Christmas
I love coats. Today I bought a christmas caroling red jacket, vintage, definitely 40s with real fur. Am I a bad person? Don’t care, also is it bad that as I was trying on the dress it reminded me that I want to wear this to church, and then I said, “I love dressing for church WAY more than I like going to Church….”
But oh- how I love church fashion. I am already dreaming...
Lover, lover on the fence.
I am working on a paper for historiography and listening to taking back sunday.
“passion over consequence, since when did the latter take the lead?”
I feel so focused on minute and so distracted the next. Which ever. I have no ardent desire except to succeed and I am not sure how I feel about this. I want to do all things well. Somewhere my mom has a quote taped to the cabinets and...
When they are good they are very very good and...
I have two demon seeds: Mina Millay and Jasper Putin. The eat wires, gnaw on the edges of my computer, and generally get all over me like I never cuddle them or play with them, which of course I do constantly. They are evil, but I miss them when I go away, thankfully my mom updates me. She hates them a little too. I don’t know why we bothered naming them b/c they just end up being called...
Musing
Does anyone else seem to think there is sexual tension between The Six Fingered Man and Prince Humperdink?
reading millay, and eliot and listening to...
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
““If I should learn, in some quite casual way”
If I should learn,...”
– Edna St. Vincent Millay
Lost
today
i
lost:
my burts bees chapstick because i was drunk and dropped it somewhere
my earrings and scarf (but I should be able to find them again because they are just lost in anthony’s house)
Robin Briggs, Witches and Neighbors which belongs to the Shepherd University Scarborough Library. damn.
and finally I really want to watch Lost in Translation now that I’m older and can...
